Useful tips
Content:
Why do you need compliments
Rules for giving compliments
The emancipation of modern women has reached such incredible proportions that you can't help wondering why men even know how to compliment girls correctly?
The answer is simple — because men WANT to know how to win over a woman. And in many cases, this conquest begins with simple words and a compliment.
Why do you need compliments
vkstudio
Let's be honest: a compliment is often (though not always) a form of flattery. At the same time, a compliment is the easiest and most direct way to tell someone you're interested in a romantic relationship. After all, it's just a pleasure for a person to listen to compliments!
Read also: 40 compliments to a man that will raise his self-esteem
Of course, not all compliments are equally appropriate, helpful, and effective. Not all compliments are made for the purpose of starting a romantic relationship. But if a man wants to find a way to the heart of his object of adoration (or at least bring a condescending smile on the girl's face), he simply has to use the best and most win-win compliments.
Fortunately for men, finding the right compliments isn't that hard. Don't underestimate even the most banal ones. But this is far from the most important thing! In order for a man's words to penetrate the very heart and soul of his passion, and also to be preserved for a long time (or even forever!) In memory, it is very important to learn how to make these very compliments correctly and on time.
Rules for giving compliments
Motortion/Getty Images
You can come up with hundreds and hundreds of compliments, each of which will be pleasant to one or another representative of the fairer sex. You can make your own list of compliments that will be appropriate in a given situation. However, there are a number of specific rules by which a man can achieve the greatest success.
Rule one: a compliment must be honest
If a girl really looks tired or there's something wrong with her hair, that doesn't mean telling her honestly about it is a compliment. Of course not! A compliment is praise. Honest, but slightly exaggerated if necessary. And in the vast majority of cases, compliments that were made honestly, under an influx of feelings, work.
An example of an honest compliment
An ordinary situation: a man likes a girl, but he has not yet found the right moment to reveal his feelings to her. Men, if you don't do it, then someone will do it for you! So the next time you marvel at the beauty of your object of breath's hairstyle, take the moment to praise her hairstyle.
Motortion/Getty Images
Not so straightforward, but disguised compliments also have the right to life. On the other hand, why go roundabout when it is possible to choose a straight road? And if the direct compliment was not banal flattery, but was quite honest, these beautiful and pleasant words of a man will sink into a woman's heart and will be remembered for a long time.
Rule two: first compliments should be witty
If a man, seeing a woman for the first time in his life, suddenly begins to crumble in compliments, each of which can be regarded as a declaration of love, it looks, to put it mildly, inappropriate. Therefore, representatives of the stronger sex can be given the following advice:
If you like a girl you're almost unfamiliar with, use simple and cute, slightly humorous compliments. Such kind words can be regarded as an act of gallantry and politeness.
Compliments given to an unfamiliar lady should never force things (except in isolated cases, of course). After giving the first compliments, a man should make sure that he was understood correctly; it is even better if he feels that his words of courtesy were well received. This means that we can slowly move forward.
Joshua Resnick
Sometimes it is appropriate to take several steps at the first meeting, saying another compliment that will make it clear that a man is interested in becoming more than a friend. If the first attempts were met with hostility or caused some bewilderment, it makes sense to hold back more frank compliments for the next time.
Rule three: a compliment must have a purpose
The main thing for a man at the moment when he says his compliment is to decide why he does it at all. After all, why compliment him if, for example, he is not going to take care of the lady to whom he sends these compliments? To be known as a person who tries to please all the ladies at once? Or to amuse your ego with the attention of another “victim” that he does not need?
Moreover, really clever women will easily “figure out” such a “boyfriend”, pushing him somewhere in their personal ranking of men to the very last places. Another thing is when the purpose of a compliment expressed by a man to a lady is really a desire to admire her beauty, some talents, the ability to choose outfits, cook various dishes, and so on.
Koldunova_Anna/Getty Images Pro
Such compliments are appropriate if they are addressed to colleagues, wives of friends and acquaintances, just to female friends. If a man wants to show that he may be interested in a girl not only as a friend, then compliments should be appropriate. But in any case, we should start with the words of courtesy, the nature of which we discussed in the previous paragraph.
Rule four: don't wait for an immediate response to a compliment
Many men think that as soon as they say a compliment (even a very appropriate, honest and successful one), women should immediately fall into their open arms. Far from it! The purpose of most compliments is to plant a small seed, which will later bloom in lush color and bear fruit. It's possible. Someday.
That's a compliment. Everything else is pure pickup (that is, outright seduction). Advice for men: If you are in doubt about whether your compliment will be received correctly, it makes sense to start an easy conversation. Then seize the right moment and give a compliment. Start with something neutral, watch the reaction, and then decide whether to act more directly the next opportunity.
Rule Five: Compliments require courtesy
halfpoint collection
Indeed, rude and greasy jokes cannot be considered a compliment — we have already said that this approach looks like a kind of shooting. The compliment itself, being a slight exaggeration of virtues, should be uttered extremely politely. In no case should you act in such a way that the desire to compliment looks intrusive — such an approach will make a lady feel uncomfortable.
In any case, no one can 100% guarantee that even the most appropriate and correctly pronounced compliment will achieve its goal. That is why you can give advice to men: give your compliments anyway; if they achieve their goal and are received the way you wanted, that's great. If not, let go of the situation. At least for a while.
If you are too persistent, trying to win over the lady with numerous compliments, you can cause a backlash. After all, there are many other women in the world who will like the same compliment in the same situation. Therefore, it is necessary to maintain politeness and unobtrusiveness until the end.
Rule six: you can't overdo it with compliments
Sanneberg/Getty Images Pro
There is no doubt that most compliments are really a slight exaggeration of a person's merits. In fact, no one is hiding it! Therefore, it is absolutely impossible to say frankly flattering but untrue things through a compliment. Such compliments can only appeal to foolish and spoiled people!
You can also not go too far with the number of compliments by saying them to the same person too often. It is necessary to emphasize the value of each compliment! If any phrase that comes out of a man's mouth is sweet as honey, and such phrases are dark and dark, then such acts of courtesy will certainly be regarded as simple molestation. However, if these compliments are addressed, for example, to a spouse, then there are never too many pleasant words!
Rule 7: Compliments are good when they are appropriate
Would it look appropriate for a man to suddenly tell the girl sitting quietly across from him that he likes the way she laughs? Even if he really likes the way this girl laughs! Or interrupt her laugh with similar words of courtesy? Of course not. Such a compliment should be given when the girl, as they say, laughed and there was a short pause.
Scopio
But it makes sense to praise the girl's smile, to express your admiration for her mouth just when she is smiling. This applies to all compliments, regardless of their purpose. Subtle and elegant phrases, when spoken at the right time, are as striking (in the best sense of the word) as a well-shot weapon.
Rule Eight: Compliments Take Courage
Men should understand that compliments do require courage, but not audacity! Politeness, but courage — this is the most successful combination for uttering words of courtesy. After all, women who have not lost their femininity in the process of rabid emancipation still want to be conquered! And that requires a certain amount of courage.
Yes, the unpredictable reaction of a girl or woman to a compliment is somewhat frightening. But what is the worst thing that a man thinks can happen? If all the other rules for complimenting have been followed, then the most unpleasant thing that can happen is that the girl will consider the compliment flattery. And he'll let him pass by his ears. That is why honesty, courtesy and, of course, courage are so important.
Rule Nine: Compliments require a certain intonation
Scopio
In most cases, men are required not just to give a compliment (even to the place), but the right intonation, if they really want to attract the attention of women of the opposite sex. And to do this, the stronger sex requires at least basic communication skills with women!
This is a very important rule, because a compliment, even with a little bit of irony, immediately ceases to be a compliment, but turns into, for example, a mockery. Or it may be taken as a desire to laugh. The main goal of any compliment is the desire to evoke positive emotions in the person to whom the words of courtesy are addressed (regardless of gender).
Read also: 40 compliments to a girl that will not leave her indifferent
That is why the compliment should be delivered in a friendly manner. Totally laid-back compliments are usually best received. They may be expressed in an admiring tone, they may sound flirtatious or even shy — this is not so important. It is much more important (and here we return to one of the above rules) that words of courtesy be sincere.
Boggy
How to learn the right intonation when giving a compliment
In order to learn how to say compliments, men should literally practice on their girlfriends, if any. We are talking about the fair sex, with whom they have an exclusively platonic relationship.
Men, you don't have to involve your female friends in your game by telling them you want to work out! A woman is a woman, and she can be offended (regardless of status). Compliments are good when they are sincere and unexpected. Therefore, first you should adopt compliments that suit female friends, as well as girls you want to like.