Useful tips
Content:
Why a compliment should be honest
How to make a compliment sincere
Feel free to say compliments — kind, relevant, accurate, original.
But the best compliments are sincere, kind words.
Why they should be exactly like this, and how to learn how to do them correctly — this is what we will talk about later.
Why a compliment should be honest
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A kind, sincere and deep compliment can work wonders. Said in time, it has the power to turn an ordinary routine day into a real holiday. A person who receives such a compliment can be overwhelmed with pride, happiness, and dignity.
Praise someone's hairstyle, or someone's suit, and you'll strengthen your personal connection with that person. However, compliments are a tool that can not only establish and strengthen relationships between people in principle. Nice words end up playing a big part in establishing deeper, sometimes loving relationships.
Read also: 40 compliments to a man that will raise his self-esteem
An appropriate compliment can turn you into a kind of happiness giver. As soon as you exaggerate a little (just a little bit) the merits of a person, highlighting them with pleasant words, this person begins to be overwhelmed with optimism, self-satisfaction and even happiness.
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It turns out that a compliment is a kind of gift. Just as it happens with a well-chosen gift, both the recipient and the giver enjoy and benefit from the act of giving.
However, to say a truly sincere and deep compliment that will help establish or strengthen relationships, give you a feeling of joy and gratitude, causing a smile of gratitude, is whole art.
Here are some tips to help you learn how to make elegant and natural-sounding compliments.
How to make a compliment sincere A
compliment should be related to how you really feel
In order for a compliment, as they say, to sound in full force, you should try to say what you feel to the person to whom the compliment is intended.
A compliment should and will be sincere when:
Nice words are related to some specific qualities of a person (including their ability to dress well) that you personally like;
nice words are related to something that has of paramount importance to this person.
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It seems that everything is very simple (especially with the first time you saw something good or beautiful in this particular person, and then appropriately praised him for it using the right ones words).
Using a compliment as a tool for building relationships is more difficult if, for example, you do not know a person or, God forbid, feel some dislike for him. Let's say you decide to address a couple of nice words to your immediate supervisor, for whom you do not have positive feelings.
But even in this case (or rather, especially in this case), you should ignore your personal emotions towards this person, and then try to impartially identify the qualities for which he can really respect and which it is not a sin to mention with pleasant words. So…
Consider why you value certain human qualities
Since we've decided that sincerity is important, you need to praise a person for exactly what they deserve that praise for. But think first, why did the qualities you think of affect you so deeply?
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For example, you want to praise a colleague for a well-organized corporate event. But before you do that, try to decide for yourself what exactly you liked about this holiday. Was absolutely everything organized at the highest level and all colleagues liked it?
Then go back to the first tip — the compliment should sound genuine — and make your compliment as specific as possible. Let's say the holiday was generally not so good, but the food was excellent. Just say, “You've put together a fantastic menu! Everything was delicious!”
And this will sound sincere — much more sincere than praising a person for the whole holiday as a whole, which may have drawbacks.
Do not exaggerate a person's dignity
Hyperbolized and unreasonable praise is a cheap gesture that leaves behind a feeling of emptiness, as it is common hypocrisy. But an honest compliment, even a very simple and small one, can have much more weight and meaning.
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Let's go back to the example already proposed above related to organizing a corporate party. You can send the following flattering compliment to the organizer: “It was the best party ever!” In some cases, of course, this may be the case. But, as a rule, such a compliment causes a polite, restrained smile, as all parties understand that this is common courtesy on duty.
It's another matter if you notice a specific well-organized detail. For example, well-chosen music. And then it would be quite appropriate to say: “You know, it was heartfelt. I especially liked how you organized/organized competitions. And we had a rest, chat with the team, and have fun.”
Thus, when you give a compliment but don't want it to sound like hyperbolized and overly flattering words, you should always be specific, noting details that are really appeal to you.
A superficial and, as it were, casual compliment is much more appreciated
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If your chief accountant came to the office wearing a new blouse on the eve of paycheck, do not shout admiringly after: “What a beautiful color, you look fantastic in this blouse!” You can always dig a little deeper, trying to find exactly the detail that really makes you want to compliment.
For example, the phrase “You know, the cut is very stylish and unusual, it looks very good on you!” , will leave the recipient of the compliment much more pleasant memories, causing quite positive emotions.
Use adjectives
And again about superficial compliments: of course, such nice words can pass by without being remembered. However, you should be original. Our language is very rich, so why not make the compliment sound to its full effect by using adjectives that directly describe what you admire?
Let's take the same chief accountant wearing a new blouse as an example. Of course, you can say: “I love your blouse so much!” Or you could say something like, “Look, it's such a nice pink color. As soon as you came in, it immediately became brighter on this gloomy morning!”
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It sounds a little unusual, looks like a 100% compliment, but it focuses on details and indicates that the person being complimented has good taste. And your taste will be noted, as long as the color is really well chosen.
Note the details you like while complimenting your loved one
For some reason, it is believed that a loved one, since he is with you, should be content with dry phrases, such as “you look great”, “cool hairstyle” and so on. This is not the case. In order to give a good compliment to your loved one, you should use the same rule:
note details that you really like;
speak out about these details, adding appropriate emotional coloring.
In certain situations, compliments like this can even save some relationships by breathing new life into them! Celebrating and praising what you specifically love about your partner speaks of your caring attitude towards him. Compliments between love partners can generally reduce the likelihood of conflicts, contributing to even more intimate rapprochement.
A compliment at the workplace is a necessary work tool
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If you do not regret compliments to your colleagues or subordinates, you have probably seen more than once how people “blossom” after well-chosen and timely addressed pleasant words.
Meticulous researchers note that this approach not only improves the relationship between the one who gives and the one who receives compliments; the right kind words are literally in the sense of the word, they can improve human productivity.
Read also: How to give a killer compliment?
In order for a compliment to “work”, it must be sincere and deserved. And do not forget that it should not be general, but related to a specific feature or detail that you personally noted highly.
At the workplace, with such a compliment, you can contribute to the development of certain employee qualities. For example, you liked how your colleague chose material for their presentation. We can say that the whole presentation
was quite good overall. Or you can tell the truth on your own behalf, noting the employee's unique ability to collect and process information. He'll do it even better next time!
Feel free to praise strangers what you like
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Addressing compliments to people who are with you almost every day, there is a risk of ruining your relationship with them, as long as you are not particularly experienced in this matter. It is necessary to train with very close friends who will understand and forgive.
However, you can become a truly experienced and clever compliment giver only when you overcome fear and awkwardness by addressing pleasant words to unfamiliar or even complete strangers.
This approach allows you to practice your ability to compliment to your heart's content! Try to start noting the details of random people you interact with almost everywhere, giving simple but honest compliments, for example, a sales consultant in the cellular department, a janitor in your backyard, to the cashier at the store, and so on.
We are usually stopped by an understandable fear — we are afraid of being misunderstood, of appearing strange, eccentric, and so on. “What will people around me think of me?” — such an idea hinders any good endeavors!
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Well, first try to make sure that the emotional atmosphere is conducive to your compliment. Eye contact with the person you want to compliment will help with this. If you are convinced that there are no factors that can cause irritation, give the person a slight smile, and then directly note the detail you would like to praise.
Read also: 40 compliments to a girl that will not leave her indifferent
And if a person's face shines with a sincere smile, and in response you hear a sincere “Thank you!” , then you will feel such a surge in dopamine activity that you will get goosebumps! You can be sure that you will be sincerely welcome on your next visit to this store or establishment.