Useful tips
In this crazy age of progress, when everyone runs somewhere and thinks everyone owes them, personal boundaries are what give you the opportunity to relax and protect your health. Unfortunately, not everyone knows how to defend these boundaries, and this has a significant impact on life and relationships.
Imagine the situation – you're having dinner with family and kids, with friends on Friday night. And suddenly you receive a lot of messages by mail or phone, from your boss, from work partners, from customers, despite the fact that your working day is long over and you have a legal day off. At the same time, messages are not of the first importance. And now, you are forced to interrupt dinner and communication with loved ones for answers to work. Is it familiar?
In this article, we'll show you how to assert personal boundaries in a brutal era of professional burnout. Remember that nothing is more important than your health and your loved ones.
A person's personal boundaries
You and only you decide whether to devote your free time to extra work
Replying to messages at 12:00 a.m. or 6:00 a.m. on Sunday is your choice, and no one has the right to scold you for doing so unless you're working the night shift.
Note that it will become a habit for those you regularly reply to sending you emails at the wrong time. Therefore, if you value personal boundaries when leaving work, think about your vacation and health, if it's not urgent.
Remember that in some positions, urgent tasks and night messages are the norm, and this is discussed at the very beginning, so if you are not satisfied with this part of the job, do not take it up and look for it another in order to avoid conflict situations later.
If you have a flexible schedule and you can choose your own working hours, hold on to your seat, because it is very convenient. If your boss unreasonably scolds you for not responding to a non-urgent message at night or over the weekend, you should consider quitting.
Learn to say “no” in a way that sounds like “yes”
If you receive an offer or request that is very limited in time and you know for sure that you will not be able to make it in time, indicate what you will be able to complete as soon as possible and offer such an option. If a person is satisfied with the amount of work you offer, proceed.
In addition, if a customer or client requires several tasks to be completed in a short time, you can tell them the following: “I am ready with the highest quality and with close attention to detail fulfill one of your requests. Once it's finished, I'm ready to take on the others. What is your priority?”
If you have a team under your immediate supervision, you should either employ more talented and hardworking people or narrow down your team's reach.
Professional burnout
Seek support — you're entitled to it
If things don't work out for you and you have a normal relationship with your boss, let him know if you have a problem and ask for support.
If you don't know what to do in a given situation, ask your colleagues for help. At the same time, be ready to give them mutual support if they have problems.
If you feel that you are experiencing stress and crisis in all areas of life, but you can't leave work, relieve your home schedule as much as possible. You can hire someone to clean your apartment, you can ask your neighbor to take your dog for a walk or take out the trash.
In return, be polite and don't forget to offer your help if something happens. If a person has helped you before, don't deny him support.
Learn to deal with the causes of overtime
If you work for a company and do your job well, but work is still slow and you have to work overtime, it's not about work, it's about the team. The work is either done without enthusiasm, or the team did not work out, or people do not know how to do certain tasks correctly.
You need to reduce your unpaid extra hours of work, which, moreover, are most likely not to bring you any pleasure. Lowering your overtime level will cheer you up and make you feel better.
Also read: The 10 weirdest jobs
How to protect personal borders
Clearly define your boundaries
If you turn a blind eye to people's consumer attitude towards you, you risk becoming a victim for the second time. That is why any abuse of your opportunities and time must be stopped at the very beginning, and people who do not respect your borders must be held accountable.
Make it clear that you don't intend to let others use your time, trust, and abilities.
If you're the kind of person that you're having a hard time saying no, let the customer know that you might need more time to get the job done. If the customer agrees, get to work. To avoid conflicts, stress and disruptions, immediately clearly indicate how long it is convenient for you to complete the presented amount of work.
If there are people in your life who regularly take advantage of your kindness and your time, while calling you too often, indicate a possible time to answer a call or message. Explain, for example, that you will respond within 48 hours or strictly by 18:00.
Sometimes disconnect or disappear for a while
If frequent business calls prevent you from communicating with loved ones during your free time, you can use a second phone just for work. You can also switch off your main phone to take a break from social media and leave your office only for urgent business calls.
If relationships with colleagues allow, explain to your boss and colleagues that you have certain hours after work when you take a break from technology, including email and social media networks.
Be prepared to leave if you're not respected
The ability to set personal boundaries is a very important skill that will help you in life. However, there are a lot of people around us who, for one reason or another, are not ready to respect your personal boundaries. That is why you should think and understand one simple thing in time.
If you are irreplaceable, every boss and colleagues will treat you with respect.
If your time, feelings and skills are not respected, it's time to leave and find an activity that you like best.
If you understand that it's time for you to leave your job, but you can't for financial reasons, start saving money if possible so that you can have support in case of a delay in your new job. At the same time, look for jobs that are right for you — maybe you will find the right one for you.
Read also: Test: Which PROFESSION is right for you
How to learn to say no
Even if you can, you don't have to
In life, you should adhere to the principle that everyone should do their own thing. It's the same at work — if you're great at filling out paperwork in addition to your duties, for example, this does not mean that you should do it for your less talented colleagues. Of course, it's okay to help you if you fail, but no one can force you to do all the work for him — it's not your responsibility.
Focus your attention on your work.
If you suddenly notice that your colleague is not doing something, suggest the best solution or help you find solutions, but don't do the work for him.
This will not only take your time so that you do not fulfill your professional duties, but also show the person that you are ready to take on someone else's job at any time.
Set aside time for yourself
No one will care about you like you do. To relax and focus better, take a few minutes, for example, to exercise or exercise your eyes. If you only have free time after work, set a time when you will be busy with yourself and no one will distract you.
You can take a bath or meditate, for example. Watch your favorite movie, play a computer or board game, cook a delicious dish, chat with loved ones.
At these times, don't think about work, even if you're stuck. Relax and reboot — you can then return to work with a clear mind.
Remember to sleep healthily
The best thing you can do is leave your job at work. Don't go to bed thinking about the office or having problems with colleagues. Leave only positive emotions overnight. Unplug your phone so no one bothers you. Remember that if the specifics of the job do not require you, you have every right to be quiet at night, without calls or messages.