Useful tips
Spoiler alert: put aside all thoughts that you can change it.
The famous Karl Marx once said a very clever thing about how an employee needs respect more than food. However, there are still toxic bosses all over the place.
Read also: A narcissistic boss is a bad boss
How can you characterize a toxic leader? Such a person has a certain range of powers, and for unknown reasons he is confident that he is free to control your whole life. He believes that he is beyond good and evil, and has the right to use any resource, including illegal ones, to maintain control over you.
Toxic boss
A toxic manager is an unfair boss that makes a person hate a job that he used to love. Yes, such bosses can even deprive you of sleep, but they are not without their weaknesses, which we will discuss in this article.
“Saying you're a leader and not being one is the ultimate insignificance of a person.”
So let's start with what toxic bosses are, and let's divide them by the amount of poison they release.
Vijay Nair made a good classification. He approached the problem with a great sense of humor in his book The Boss Isn't Your Friend. But at the same time, he revealed the nature and complexity of the issue. Vijay exposed the toughest executives of the world's largest companies.
We decided to take this book as the basis for our classification, because it is sometimes very difficult to overcome such situations in the workplace without humor.
Toxic boss
Types of toxic bosses
The author identifies five types of toxic bosses.
Careerist
This type is the most common and most interesting of all. It is very easy to identify such a boss: he loves to appropriate working ideas invented by someone else.
But if only it were that simple. The matter does not end with misappropriation alone. In addition to the fact that such a boss is very incompetent, he will certainly blame his mistakes on his subordinates, as well as for an improperly organized work process.
A hesitant leader
Such a boss is always looking for people who can support him and who will follow him all the time. This boss isn't sure of himself. He will ask his “accomplices” to control the situation because he fears an unexpected strike by workers.
A lazy man and a workaholic
These are two more types of toxic executives that represent two extremes. A slacker will expect you to take on his duties in addition to your job, and a workaholic who sees nothing but work and has no personal life will demand that your life be like this Just like him.
Read also: A bad boss is your heart problem
Arrogant boss
This is the last kind of toxic executive. It is the second most common after a careerist. It is impossible to hear from such a person that he is wrong. He firmly believes that he simply cannot make a mistake just because he exists. He never apologizes and only listens to himself.
Toxic leader
“If you don't have a boss above you, your chances of being happy are greatly increased.”
But are there any ways to defeat a toxic boss?
It's incredibly important to understand who you're dealing with. We share with you some tips on how to protect yourself from the direct influence of your boss on your life.
1) You can't take what your boss says personally
It is simply vital for you to learn how to respond to his criticism, injustice and harshness addressed to you as little as possible. If you are firm in your position, avoid provocative situations, and exercise self-control, your toxic boss will soon choose a new victim.
2) If nothing changes for a long period of time, then it's time for a frank conversation
Thus, you will try not to enter into a conflict, but to have a constructive conversation with a person, try to reach out to his common sense. Be as involved as possible, try to understand him by learning what he expects from you. This is the only way you will be able to satisfy his needs much faster and easier.
Poor attitude from the boss
3) Give up all dreams that you will be able to change a person
In the vast majority of cases, such bosses are extremely psychologically problematic people. Moreover, this applies to all areas of life, both professional and personal. From this we conclude that you will not be able to have any impact on his vision of life in general and the situation with you in particular. The only thing you can do is adapt.
Also read: The 10 weirdest jobs
4) Never forget that your boss is not your friend
If your boss does not behave as you would like, this should not be the reason for your lack of professionalism. Do your job as well as possible, make decisions very carefully and wisely.
Bad boss
Here are a couple more important tips to help you withstand the confrontation:
– let you have all the written evidence. Stock up on all copies of documents and letters that will help you tip the scales at some point;
– At home, focus exclusively on your life, do not think or immerse yourself in work. Yes, it can be very difficult, but you need it. When away from the office, you should forget about all work problems. If you don't do this, you'll make your life a nightmare.
If none of the above works for you, then there is only one option left for you — to find a new job. If there is someone who makes your life hell and you can't help but think about it all the time, then for your own physical and mental health, this job should be a thing of the past, because that if you delay, you'll only make yourself worse.
About a bad boss
The tips we have described are effective because they will help you reduce your exposure to a toxic boss to a minimum. If you ever find yourself in this situation, or if you suddenly find yourself in the same company as one, don't forget to take advantage of them.
No one will deny that the labor market situation does not always allow a person to quit when the time is right. And if you can't do it right now, find yourself a new job first. This is much better than nagging every day.
We will tell you something more about toxic bosses, who are one of the main causes of stress and cause severe harm to health.
Recently, scientists from Stanford University and the Harvard Business School studied 200 projects on the work environment. It turned out that the stress experienced by a person at the workplace is comparable, at least, to the negative effects of passive smoking.
As you know, passive smoking has an effect on blood fat (triglycerides). This reduces good cholesterol and increases the risk of developing cardiovascular diseases.
The study proved that the toxic atmosphere at work also has a similar effect. At work, everyone is more or less stressed, but when you have a toxic boss or colleagues, this stress only increases.
Read also: Test: Which PROFESSION is right for you
Another study conducted by American scientists found that employee stress is directly related to manager behavior. 75% of people in the US say that the main Toxic bosses are the cause of their stress.
However, stress is not the only cause of danger posed by a bad leader. According to scientists from the University of Manchester, a toxic leader “helps” his employees develop mental disorders. People who are the target of management aggression very often suffer from depressive disorders.
Poor attitude by managers
The problem is greatly exacerbated by the fact that it is impossible to leave your hated job at the moment, because then there will be nothing to live on. As a result, so many people are beginning to find excuses for toxic relationships with management, which actually only hurts them more.
As we have already said, the standard characteristics of a toxic boss are continuous criticism of the case, constant accusations against employees, a complete absence of motivating actions, and tyranny . Of course, we are all human beings, and so are our bosses. We all have tough days. But when a person is afraid to say something again because of a possible explosion, this is far from normal.
When a manager tells you that you're not what they want, that's also a sign of a toxic boss. For such a boss, you are a servant who must follow all the instructions of your master so as not to displease him.
If you work in a team with a toxic leader, then it is vital for you to change jobs, because this will have a positive effect not only on your psyche, but also on your entire body.
Of course, a person leaves their previous job for various reasons. This includes a low salary without the prospect of an increase, and the territorial inconvenience of the office, and some personal reasons. Some people just leave out of boredom. However, the most common reason for dismissal is precisely dissatisfaction with the company's management.
Also read: 8 signs it's time for you to change jobs
The results of numerous studies show that when a person is unpleasant to his superiors, the person sooner or later transfers to another department, changes his position or leaves this job .
Reasons for dismissal
In addition, in many cases, the issue of earnings does not come first, and, as it turned out, a knowledgeable specialist sometimes chooses a lower salary just to get away from a toxic situation and be in a friendly team with a positive boss.
So, according to Accenture, which conducted a large-scale study analyzing the reasons for people leaving work, there are 4 main reasons why a person leaves a decent one workplace.
– I don't like the management — 31%
– no prospects and career growth — 31%
– misunderstandings and conflicts with colleagues — 35%
– lack of recognition of merits and achievements — 43%
If we analyze these main reasons, we can understand that a good leader can cope with everything. This is because any good boss with a team of people must first think about how to make all team members feel that they are needed, theirs are respected and that they are in their place.
A bad boss is not bad at all in the way popular culture often portrays him, making them vindictive rude and even violent. But in most cases this is not the case, as we discussed above.
Reasons for dismissal from work
The vast majority of toxic bosses will not be openly rude to their team, unless, of course, they are even a little bit smart. Of course, we are not talking about single copies like the aggressively passive Scott in the series “The Office”, who “just” does not notice or realize what exactly he is doing wrong. They often do what they do with good intentions.
Another author we'll talk to today is James Manktelow, who co-authored the acclaimed book Mind Tools for Leadership. He says that most bosses simply never learned how to interact with people in the work environment.
Read also: Working from home affects parents' emotional health
For a good leader, one of the fundamental features is the ability to control your emotions. He must be positive, self-confident and able to perform his duties under pressure and without taking over the accumulated stress on his employees. It must be sincere.
Good boss
A good boss will be able to cope with any problem, and they will appear sooner or later, he can inspire colleagues and subordinates.
It takes a lot of desire, a lot of time and the right mentor to get such a boss, but unfortunately, most modern leaders have never had any of them these three points.
As a result, when an untrained person takes a leadership position, he becomes very irritable, does not understand people, and he also turns into someone who strongly condemns his own subordinates for any, even the most insignificant, mistake.
Such a boss does not realize that the effect of a warm atmosphere on all work is as important as the job itself. And often, in an attempt to keep everyone under control, they focus entirely on work projects and tasks, while completely ignoring the needs of employees.
Good boss and bad boss
There are also toxic bosses who just don't like taking responsibility. When the unforeseen happens and the situation begins to deteriorate, such a leader quickly winds up fishing rods, and his subordinates and colleagues are to blame for the incident. Let's add that a bad boss is also someone who cares more about his own promotion, and is not interested in everything else.
The toxic boss is also quite short-sighted, but selective because he pretends not to notice things that are extremely important for a healthy environment among people. And even with the fact that he controls everything else, even monitors the availability of toilet paper, he can't create a team he's a mountain for, he can't have a community in where people want to work on joint projects.
As a result, this behavior of a bad boss encourages even the strongest professionals to leave their workplace forever and remember to slam the door loudly.
Characteristics of a bad leader
So what do we do?
In fact, this situation is quite simple. The boss just needs to genuinely see his subordinate. Moreover, he must not only see him, but also care about him.
Of course, no one talks about going too far when it goes beyond professionalism. This should be such that a person understands that they are valued and that they become even more valuable when they do their job even better.
“In order for a person to be worthy, he does not need to meditate as a hermit in the mountains for years or get a diploma in psychology.”
A good boss can build proper communication with subordinates of any age. He is able to listen to their wishes, show empathy at the right time, firmly direct them to the right place, and give a fair assessment of the work done.
Read also: Remote work is harder than office work
The boss must also know the people he works with well in order to distribute among them the work that this person will do as well as possible in the right time. The boss must feel the moment when it is possible to push the subordinate in the right direction, and when it is better to wait.
The best leaders are not those who have completed three degrees, completed a bunch of courses, and have excellent references. The best leaders are the ones who always have time to realize the potential of every person in their team. The best leaders always see their employees' strengths and know how to help them become the best version of themselves.
Only such a boss can create an atmosphere in the team that you won't want to leave, even if the person receives a better salary offer elsewhere.
However, not only the boss can be toxic, but also the team itself. We will share with you some recommendations on how to characterize such a team and survive in it.
About a bad team
There are obvious and hidden signs of a toxic team. First, let's talk about the obvious ones:
– one or more colleagues can easily raise their voices to another and are aggressive;
– one or more colleagues threaten others;
– there are people in the team who are being bullied. A very characteristic feature is that a person may have quit a long time ago, but they continue to blame him for all serious mistakes;
– At meetings, others often sarcasm or even ridicule other employees;
– everything that happens in the team can be described in one word — drama. If someone is suddenly fired, then against the background of this event, a real performance takes place, in which several people take part. If someone refuses to work, the play happens again, etc.;
– employees often take sick leave, not only because of physical health problems, but also because of mental health problems, for example, a person may have a nervous breakdown;
And here are the hidden signs of a toxic team that can only be noticed by a person who already works here, or someone who is very attentive to details and has received information from the inside.
Read also: Your ideal birthday PROFESSION
– the team clearly or veiled the idea that “you are very lucky to be here”. It is especially common among the lower category of staff. If you hear something like this from your boss or manager, it's an alarming sign;
– poor interactions within and insufficient information. If you notice that you are not getting enough information about your work and your responsibility, then this is the most standard indicator of a poisoned team;
You rarely, if ever, see feedback about what you're doing. If the manager is having any conversations with you, you always think that he is dissatisfied with something or that he is somehow unfriendly.
Bad team at work
You work very hard, sometimes you do the work of two or even three people, but this is taken for granted. But when you start talking about the time to raise your salary, your superiors don't give a clear answer, ignore you, or feed you breakfast regularly.
– the vast majority of employees are dissatisfied, no one smiles, everyone does their job without much enthusiasm. You've never heard anyone say they love their job. The company has a huge turnover rate when the best ones actually leave;
– colleagues compete with each other, compete, and often there are even wars about who will fire whom first. The team is full of rumors and gossip. The guide has its own favorites;
– Workflows are not properly organized: meetings feel like you're wasting time talking a lot but doing nothing. Deadlines come from nowhere, are unjustified, projects are not clearly structured;
Read also: Boring office work leads to drunkenness
New orders and instructions appear regularly, but they do not solve existing problems. There is one common illness in the toxic community called “we'll do it this way because it should be done” or “we'll do it this way because we've always done it this way.”
– the leader is a tyrant, as we discussed in detail at the beginning of this article;
Bad team
The most important thing to understand about a poisoned team is that if you are very uncomfortable, you can't tolerate it! Don't waste your energy trying to change things. Find a new job and quit as soon as possible.
Why shouldn't we spend time trying to fix something? Because you are almost 100 percent likely to succeed unless you're the owner.
If you want to talk to heart-to-heart colleagues, they will call you a gossip, they will say that you are intriguing, and they will convince you that you are wrong or that you suffer from paranoia.
If you decide to talk to someone in management, they'll almost certainly think that you've decided to find dirt on someone. If you openly start to clash with a toxic colleague or boss, you'll quickly lose your job without your own initiative, because toxic teams live this way.
At the same time, you will blame yourself, feel worthless, you will be hurt and unable to change anything. If this happens, be sure to find support from relatives or a psychotherapist.
Don't work in a toxic office thinking things are about to change. Only if you are sure that a toxic supervisor or colleague is about to quit. If not, don't be under any illusions.
Toxic boss: how to fight
But if you're still staying for your own reasons, then you need to insure yourself and protect yourself. We recommend that you take the following steps:
– learn to treat everything in such a way that you are not responsible for the poisoned behavior of another person. It is not your fault that you cannot meet unrealistic project deadlines and unrealistic expectations;
– find colleagues with whom you are somewhat similar or who do similar jobs to yours. May you have each other's support. Like high school, something similar;
– record absolutely everything. Don't even think about deleting emails. Do not think now about whether you will need them in the future or not, but it's much better to keep them if you suddenly need to remember who said what to whom as part of a particular project;
– At this point, I would really like to say that you do not need to take everything personally, but, unfortunately, in poisoned teams, everything happens just about someone in particular. A toxic manager may well be bullying you every day, and a toxic employee in the next department may think it's time for you to become a victim.
Read also: You don't have to be yourself at work
So let's put it this way: toxic attacks may be addressed to you, but it's not your fault that this happened.
– never forget that you are in this place solely to do your job as well as possible. Just this one. All you have to do is work it out and go home.
We tried to cover the topic in as much detail as possible, if you think that we missed something, we will be happy to listen to your suggestions and add to the article.